Where in the world will I be?

I just received my medical results back and I passed so the doctor stamped my papers employable. The process for this job is really exhausting and at times I just want to say fuck it and move on but this is something that is on my bucket list so I can't give up now. So what's next? It's a waiting game for now. I'm waiting to see where I'll be shipped off to and as I typed that sentence, I realized how much I dislike using that word. Shipped; it makes me think I'm being deployed somewhere but really that's exactly what will happen... they will ship me out to a boat. Is there another word I can use for this? Maybe send is a better choice. I wonder where I'll be. Will I be in Australia, South America, Miami, Mexico or LA? I love the feeling of not knowing where I'll be which is unlike me. Usually, I dislike surprises and I need to have somewhat of an idea so I can plan a little. With very few surprises in life I will definitely enjoy this waiting game.

 

I’ve been doing a lot of research for childhood cancer and trying to figure out a way of how I can make a difference. I think because of all of the research I’ve been doing and the different stories I’ve read, I’m now dreaming about cancer. The dreams aren’t awful but they aren’t sunshine and rainbows. If anything, it makes me want to do that much more to raise awareness. I put my name in to volunteer and got a reply back where I have to fill out forms so I’m going to do that and hopefully I won’t need a one year commitment to help volunteer. It really kills me to see that is the protocol if you want to work with cancer patients. It’s the situation I’m in right now where I don’t know when I’m going to leave that is putting a damper on all of this. I’ve thought about going back to school to become a nurse but I know deep down inside I wouldn’t be able to handle a simple task such as sticking a needle in someone’s arm. I just wanted to thank everyone again who have sent me nice messages about this blog. I know some people have questioned it and don’t really understand why I am writing but they won’t say it out loud.

 

 Anyway, I will end this post tonight because my runs are kicking my butt hardcore and I’m tired. Plus, 5:20am wakeup call for cross fit is going to come really soon and I don’t need my cousin buzzing a billion question marks to my phone to make sure I’m up. (Lea-I do appreciate the wake up calls lol)

 

 

Lazy Sunday

Today was quite the relaxing Sunday. Fall is my favourite time of the year and it definitely brings out my inner child. I love the smell of baking, the cool fall air, hoodies, falling leaves, the pumpkin patch etc. It seems as if everything is more peaceful in the fall and I love it so much.

This afternoon I was determined to make Pumpkin-Pie cupcakes from scratch and they turned out fabulous. Baking is one of my favourite things to do and when I get the chance to do it, I just want everyone to eat till their bellies are full. Plus, I've been repinning some delicious recipes on Pinterest and thought it'd be a great day to test one out.

 

Pumpkin-Pie Cupcakes

INGREDIENTS

· 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

· 1/4 teaspoon baking powder

· 1/4 teaspoon baking soda

· 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

· 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger

· 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

· 1/8 teaspoon salt

· 1/4 cup granulated sugar

· 2 tablespoons butter, softened

· 1 egg

· 1/4 cup canned pumpkin puree

· 2 tablespoons milk

· 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

PREPARATION

1. Heat oven to 350°. Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt until combined. Set aside. Mash granulated sugar and butter in another bowl until combined. Stir in egg white, then pumpkin, milk and 1/2 tsp vanilla. Add dry ingredients; stir until just combined. Pour batter into lined mini muffin cups to three quarters full. Bake until cupcakes spring back to the touch, 10 to 15 minutes. I put store-bought cream cheese icing to keep it fall-like but you can put anything your little heart desire.

I put my cupcakes in yellow liners because I found out that gold is the colour for childhood cancer and September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. Yellow is the closet to gold so I settled on that. Since starting this blog yesterday, I have received some nice emails and texts from family and friends. They really warmed my heart and I definitely will continue to write about what is on my mind. I was talking to my cousin and she told me that this blog really hit close to home because her co-workers daughter that was fighting a 2

year battle against Neuroblastoma lost the fight today. I was really upset to hear that and it makes want to do that much more. We talked for a bit and I explained about how everyone knows what the pink ribbon stands for and no one knows that it's Childhood Cancer Awareness month as we speak. I'm not saying that breast cancer is not important but children do not have a loud enough voice to help raise awareness and they need our help. Did you know that childhood cancer has the least funding? My cousin and I agreed that kids should get more funding since they have a whole life ahead of them if they survive it. Please keep my cousin's co-worker in your prayers tonight and make sure you hug your love ones a little tighter.
On a lighter note, this week I'm determined to start running again. In all honesty, I'm awful at being able to accomplish this simple exercise. I could be totally dressed up ready to run and my naughty self has the power to talk me out of running. Naughty self can somehow trick my mind that stuffing your face in front of the TV is better for you. But since this weather is beautiful, I've decided to tell Naughty Self to eff off for the next month. I even texted one of my best friends to come out with me so I have no excuses. Take that naughty self! Anyway, I’m off to drop off some cupcakes to my Scary Mary (Nana W.) so she can try some. Have a great night!! ~A~

P.S sorry about my font layout. It's being really tricky and not co-operating with me so I'm leaving it because I really don't have the energy to stress about being a perfectionist on my blogs. If I was writing in my journal, I would have scribbles and crossed out words and the whole works. Thank you for reading. xo

 

 

 

 

 

Rockstar Ronan

A couple of months ago I bought my new journal. I had finished my previous one and I was excited to start writing my thoughts on a fresh new page but for some reason I could never bring myself to start writing in it. I originally was going to start this blog if I got the cruise job I applied for a couple months back. This way my family and friends can follow me through my journey while I was away at sea. But I decided why not just make this my new journal. Why write in two different places when I can get everything down at once? Plus, people sometimes have a hard time reading me and maybe this can be a way for them to understand my crazy Gemini thoughts (ha-ha).

Recently, Taylor Swift released a song called "Ronan" and if you know how I am with music, I like to rip apart each lyric, melody and find out what everything is about and really feel what the artist is singing about. Through my research I learned that this song was written for a boy named Ronan Thompson who lost his fight last year from Neuroblastoma, an aggressive childhood cancer. Taylor wrote the song by reading Ronan's mom, Maya, blogs that she started when Ronan was first diagnosed with it. I have since read most if not all of her blogs and have shed many tears at night for this little boy who has captured my heart. It really makes me angry because I can't believe this happened to a sweet blue eyed little boy who was just starting his life. It also angers me because it all hit close to home since I lost my Aunt Linda and Papa W. to cancer. When my Aunt died, I wanted to do something to help out with Cancer Patients, just volunteer so I can somewhat ease their pain even if that meant painting their finger nails or talking to them about something other than cancer. Unfortunately, hospital protocols with volunteering requires one to volunteer for a minimum of one year and I couldn't give them that commitment when I was so unsure of where I was going to be after I graduated from school. The thought never left the back of my mind but time slowly passed and so did five years. Because of Taylor`s new song, I am now sitting here late at night wondering how I can be of help with fighting cancer and finding a cure for this awful, sickening disease. I feel that donating money just doesn`t seem enough for me to do. I just feel like I need to be with people that are diagnosed and make them smile, laugh and ease their pain for a little bit. I wish I was a doctor but I`m not but couldn`t I be a Patch Adams without the doctor title? Sometimes, I think my weakness is that I care too much about things but this has always been me and I think it can be a positive thing. You can read about Ronan's story, donate to his foundation and learn more about the awful disease that took his life at rockstarronan.com. Please help spread awareness about neuroblastoma to help find a cure.

 

Anyway, I shall end this rambling for tonight but the nice thing from all of this research that I've done the past week, I have fallen in love with the name Ronan and will keep it as a name I'd like to name my child one day if it's a boy.

~A~